Yoga Teacher Training India

RYS 200, 300, 500 in Rishikesh

Embracing Self and Others Through Emotion

For some reason empathy has been heavy on my mind lately. You know, the type of human emotional connection that doesn’t allow us to walk past the same homeless man on the corner asking for that one dollar every day. Or the woman on the subway with two babies attached to her hip, bags under her eyes as heavy as the laundry she’s also hauling. To you feeling the pain of your close friend mourning a loss in their life as if it were your own loss. Thank goodness we have evolved as species with cognitive and emotional empathy, giving us an innate function to connect with other humans. From this place, great opportunities to do good unfold.

Did you see Louis C.K. on The Conan Show sharing his opinion about the current use of cell phones? In a very comedic and clever way, he identifies the crisis we are currently facing as a species. We are becoming less aware of human emotion (both our own and that of others), more detached from self, and therefore less empathic toward others. One culprit he points out is the smart phone.  This can be tested, for example, if you walk down any street corner in the city. Maybe you'll notice less eye contact with other people walking pass you. Heads are down, lost in the electronic world. I'm guilty of this too. There is nothing wrong with technology, but the misuse, or in this context, the over-use of it can be “dehumanizing”.

Feelings of fear, loneliness, and sadness are often evaded through the quick use of our cell phones, internet or the television. We have learned, over time, that it is so much easier to replace time spent sitting in these natural human emotions, with temporary pleasures met through our electronic devices. On the contrary, a recent experience journaling opened up a door I was not expecting. It was hard to allow difficult feelings of pain to pass through what felt like my veins into my heart and pumped back out to the rest of my body. No, I did not want to cry over this situation anymore, but apparently more crying needed to happen. After allowing the wave of emotions to pass, I suddenly I realized these heavy emotions surrounding me had absolutely no control over me. They just need to space to be acknowledged, to flow freely, and to be set free, and if possible, reconciled. 

Something triggered these emotions and instead of pushing them out, I sat with them. I allowed them to take their course, being mindful not to obsess over them.  Then, gently let them pass as I breathed out a positive prayer for the situation and people involved. Then, all of sudden I felt better.  My mind felt de-cluttered, my body felt lighter and I felt I had more space for something else. I interpreted this as me allowing myself to heal and give myself permission to move forward, past the hurt feelings.  Just think - if you quickly run to the internet or your phone to avoid unwanted feelings you may be robbing yourself of true healing, a deeper understanding and appreciation for yourself and others in the passing of emotion.

So, naturally, when I see another person expressing similar feelings on their face, through their body language or in their speech, I feel connected to them. I feel I have walked with them in their pain and I then have compassion. Similarly, when I experience the joy and happiness from another, I mirror these positive emotions and I too feel elated.  I am then more likely to exchange a friendly smile or give that dollar when reason says otherwise.

Emotions are a window into a person’s soul, into their life. Whether they intend to invite you or not, they are signaling a need to be connected. What we do with someone’s unintended or intentional delivery of emotion is where we can make a positive contribution. This is no easy task by any stretch of the imagination, and it takes consistent practice and awareness. It starts with us leaving our cell phones at home when going out with friends or even a quick run to the grocery store. It takes us sincerely asking our roommate, “How are you?”, and allowing time for a meaningful response and dialogue. It takes us being aware of our own emotions, not being afraid of them or judging them. It takes being open to connecting with similar emotions in the people nearest to us, and even the emotion met through the eye contact with a stranger.

I love the expression “Namaste”. As we place our hands of prayer at the heart center, our soul recognizes the soul of another, and having respect for our own self and for our neighbor, we are more connected.   

~ Namaste, my friends ~

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Comment by Jacqueline Carino on October 8, 2013 at 9:38pm

Beautiful. I'm learning to open myself to emotions. To allow myself to feel vulnerable infront of others. It's scary. It's difficult not to put up walls. But what a relief it is when we recognize and let it out. That first full breath after. That calm and quiet in my body. It's a reminder of the importance of what I'm doing. 
On the connection front, have you seen the documentary, 'I Am'. It's all about connection and how we strive from it, need it, as humans. It's hopeful. I love it. 
Thanks for sharing :)

Comment by Charity Calloway on October 8, 2013 at 10:27pm

Thanks Jacqueline :) Good note on the breath being a reminder of letting go. No wonder we practice breathing in yoga and meditation! You're right, it is not easy being vulnerable, but it expedites the healing process for me and it may even evoke healing in another person. Who knows. 

I just saw the preview to the "I AM" documentary, and I can't believe I missed out on watching it. Definitely watching it soon, it's exactly what we all are doing in coming together either through sharing stories, being open and doing yoga together ;) Thanks for sharing!


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