RYS 200, 300, 500 in Rishikesh
Today I read a quote: ”In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learnt about life: It goes on”. This made me smile, because I agree. Whatever happens to us, life goes on. We may choose to linger in the past, lick our wounds and pamper our wounded pride… but life doesn’t care; like Ganga, she keeps on moving… and waits for no one.
When I was younger and suffered from a broken heart or some other disappointment, my mum used to say that ”Honey, time heals all wounds” which at the time seemed provocatively optimistic and completely unrealistic. When we are in the midst of suffering, we want to suffer, because we can always choose non-suffering by choosing different thoughts. But we don’t, because there’s a pleasure in pain and a comfort in self-pity… we get to loose ourselves and our everyday problems in a bigger drama, more worthy of our inner pain, so we like to stay there.
But life doesn’t agree with this. Life is like a river that is always flowing and either we swim with the currents and surf on the waves or drown and float like rotting corpses. One of the people I find to be incredibly inspiring is the medical intuitive and author Caroline Myss and something she has said has stuck with me: ”Holding grudge against someone, is letting them live rent-free in your head”… but actually, they’re not even living there rent-free, YOU are actually paying with your precious life energy for them to reside there! I don’t know about you, but I’m way to cheap to like that idea…
This also goes for ex-lovers, ex-friends and anyone who is not actively involved in my life anymore. Life goes on and is in that sense ruthless. This doesn’t mean that you should erase every memory or neglect old friends, but don’t leak energy to ghosts. A person who is with me, who stays in touch, who cares here and now… that person is worthy of my energy, my thoughts, my feelings… others are not, sorry. Most drivers keep their eyes on the road ahead, not on the rear-view mirror and for a good reason.
One day not long ago, when I was sitting in an auto-rickshaw between Haridwar and Rishikesh, I had a strange sensation which actually made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. For just one moment, the world seemed to flimmer and shimmer and then settle back into place again. I suddenly had the intense feeling that everything is an illusion, a symbolic creation, a matrix created by our own perceptions for us to meet the challenges and blessings we need in order to grow.The veil was lifted for a few seconds and I saw clearly. In both tantra and yoga, detachment from worldly things is encouraged. That doesn’t mean that we should not enjoy them, but we should not depend on them for our happiness, because it is an illusion and life is constant movement. Nothing is frozen. Everything in life moves through the aum-cykle: creation -being-destruction. Whatever is troubling your heart now will pass… your heart may not believe this, but it will and the sooner you change your mind-set the faster it will.
When my troubles seem to master my mind, I turn towards the stars and I try to imagine what they have seen? When the world was smoke, fire and magma, they were watching. When the first cromagnon-humans were hunting mammoths, they were watching. They saw Atlantis sinking into the ocean, they watched the Pyramids being built. Emperors and kings, times of war and peace, the first man on the moon must have surprised them… they’ve seen it all come and go. When I try to see my life with heaven’s eyes, it is so clear… life goes on as it did before me and will after me. All is well.