RYS 200, 300, 500 in Rishikesh
Almost on the day one year ago, I was sitting at my favorite café, Costa Coffee at Doha international airport in Qatar. I had decided to leave India and return to the second closest city in my heart; Barcelona in Spain. So I was sitting there, chilling out and casually checking the latest Facebook activity when I suddenly felt it was time to go to the gate. Reluctantly I gathered my things and went over to the gate, just to be informed that I was too late and the plane had already took off. They politely asked if I wanted to get on the next flight to Spain, but instead I asked them to take me back to Delhi; a decision which ended up giving me almost six months more in India.
But what if I hadn't? What would the life unlived have been? I'm not very neat by nature, but I consider myself to be relatively organized and certainly not the kind of person to frequently miss flights just for the fun of it.
Tomorrow I am once again flying to India and faithful to my own tradition I will definitely enjoy my last soy latte at Costa Coffee in Doha, before boarding towards the land of Chai. Memories are flooding back, some sweet and some salt... I don't have any regrets, but in hindsight and according to my limited knowledge and perspective, I probably should have gotten on the flight to Barcelona at that time. But then again... who knows what would've happened!?
This made me think of all the lives unlived in a human being's life. So many choices, so many opportunities which may or may not have lead to different meetings, different realizations... What do we miss out on when we turn left instead of right, when we decide to leave instead of stay or stay instead of leave? Where are all the people who could've crossed our path but didn't? What do they do in this moment? Last night I was thinking of the moment when I signed up for the yoga ttc... it was undoubtedly an active choice. Somehow it feels as if when we are deliberately making choices ourself, we are challenged by life itself and obliged to have enough strength and courage for the consequences because we're sticking our chin out and telling the universe: "I got this!" because we think we know what we're doing. But we never do, right? We can never predict the consequences of one single choice we make... we can believe, but believing is not knowing.
Some people believe in faith or karma. Others believe life to be random or self-created by our own choices. I honestly don't know what to believe, because the older I get the more obvious it becomes how little I know. I used to be very determined ever since I was a child; always being in command, always having a clear opinion and somehow sustaining an illusion of having control of the events of my life. Nowadays I find myself becoming increasingly passive... as if instead of paddling like hell I am merely sitting in my little kayak, allowing the current of life to make the choices for me. At least the big ones! ;) So from now on, I am literally going with the flow...and let me tell you what a relief it is! Because I figured that if the universe looks after the stars, the ants, the birds and the flowers... then I'm sure it will look after me too!